


Mirror to the Soul

by immortalje



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-06
Updated: 2002-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam thinks about Jolinar and the impact she had on her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror to the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This was first posted to [FF.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/896437/1/Mirror_to_the_Soul)

Every time I look into the mirror I see a face I don't recognise. I know that it belongs to me but yet I don't recognise me. It is me and yet it isn't. Every time the same question. Is that truly me? 

It started after Jolinar died, saving my life. I changed. I'm not the same Sam Carter that I was before the whole thing with Jolinar. And I will never be the same again. I can't be the same. How can I be the same with all those memories? All those memories about a long life. A life that is longer than I ever will be able to live. Hell, longer than anybody on earth will ever live. Memories about happiness, about hate and cruelty and about loss. But the majority of memories I remember are about one person. A person so kind and brave I wonder how he got in that life. A person so well-looking I could forget all.

I wonder what he meant to Jolinar. What their relationship was. Maybe I will met him one day. Maybe. I hope that I will. He might be able to answer some of my questions. Maybe he can help me to recognise my own reflection again.

I look a last time in the mirror and there still is the face that is mine and I still don't recognise. Will I ever recognise it again? Will I ever be able to feel like before? To actually know what my feelings are? Or will it ever be this mixed up? Slowly I turn around and go downstairs. The guys are surly waiting for me so we can go out. Although I don't feel like going out, it occupies my mind with other things. Exactly what I need. Maybe I should get a life. Maybe I should stop thinking. But it is so easy to just let your mind wander.


End file.
